The importance of confidence
Surveys have shown that men want to feel like they are the pursuer and that the women are the pursued. Yet the great contradiction is that many men, when pressed, will say that they are looking for a confident women, hardly the personality that will idly stand by and be pursued! Despite the fact that the traditional role of the girl in Western courtship is that of the pursued, she has to do so with poise and confidence. This speaks to the cultural aspect of the courtship ritual, in that we recognize and merely play to the roles of the pursuer and pursued. Each side has to play his or her role with self-confidence.
Developing confidence as a skill
Self-confidence and self-esteem are skills that can, and should, be developed. For some people, getting out into a party and chatting up everyone is natural, for others not so much so. Some people are less extroverted, but nevertheless are able to talk with others easily. Yet some are quite introverted, and may feel some anxiety or fear about approaching or being approached.
Transforming your confidence
Most importantly, having the correct mind-set is at the heart of having good confidence. Check your confidence levels by considering how you flirt with various kinds of people. Recall or imagine what would happen if a guy who is not attractive or not so interesting to you started flirting with you. Would you be more confident? If so, those are the limits of your confidence levels, and you should strive to match that so you are equally confident when speaking to someone with whom you are interested.
The right clothes boost the right confidence
The kind of clothes you wear are a reflection of your inner self. Even if you are conservative in dress and do not follow the latest fashion trends, stick with modest clothes but do not resort to attire that is inappropriate for flirting. For example, if you are wearing a track suit to a party, you will likely be perceived as not receptive nor enthusiastic to flirtations. Instead, direct your dress in the right way.
Getting the attention of others
What kind of appearance do you present? Ensuring your hair has been tidied up can do wonders. A touch of make-up enhances your natural looks. Each of these grooming points will only help you in attracting or holding the attention of guys flirting with you.
Your posture and confidence
Make sure your posture projects an air of confidence that is inviting and receptive to men. You can maintain be reserved, yet communicate to others that you would be willing to speak to them. Stand up straight, with your front facing out towards others, smile and greet others with eye contact.