How to seduce a man

Eyes are the secret weapons of seduction

Men pay close attention to how women are looking at them. This is a biological fact which can be turned into an advantage for women who seek to understand how to seduce a man. Unlike many animals, our eyes are mostly white with only dark coloration in the iris which lies in the center of the eye. Because of the white and dark coloration in our eyes, it is easy for others to see what we are looking at or what direction in which we are looking. By extension, it is easy for us to convey our thoughts or intentions by where or how we are using our eyes. Women who want to seduce a man must begin with using their eyes. Many people are not be aware of it, but the eyes convey a tremendous amount of emotion and intention to other people. Mistakes in how you control your eyes due to inexperience can send the wrong signals and hurt your chances at flirting. Knowing how to attract a man with your eyes takes practice.

Tips for seduction through your eyes

Given that our eyes are a possible means of communication, what is the role of proper eye contact in our daily social interactions? In some cultures, eye contact is seen to be threatening or overly forward, but in Western culture, it’s important to look at someone in the eyes during conversation. This is even more vital when you are flirting and forms the basis for how to seduce a man. But an unflinching stare is not appropriate either. Research shows that maintaining eye contact about 60-70% of the time is optimal. So look at a man in his eyes, but turn away and look past him or toward the surroundings every once in a while to keep your gaze natural. Do not look downward, as this indicates a lack of confidence and can be off-putting. Likewise, people who look upward and away can be seen as overly insolent or rude. Also, keep a steady gaze as opposed to one that flits around. Eyes which shift rapidly can signal disinterest, for example your conversational partner may think that you are looking for or seeking to talk to someone else.

How to seduce a man with your eyes

What can girls do with their eyes to enhance their flirting? Plenty it turns out. Before contact has even been achieved, a girl can use her eyes to attract a man. By focusing her gaze on a man in a room full of people, she can signal to him that she has noticed him amongst all these people. This is all made possible by the whites of our eyes. As before, this gaze directed as what is a stranger should be long enough to stand out, but not so long that it becomes creepy or strange. If the gaze is too short, then the man may not notice it at all or may think that the girl is simply sweeping her eyes across the room. If the gaze is too long, What else can a woman do to seduce a man with her eyes? She can flutter her eyelashes when she is listening or speaking to the man. Blinking, fluttering, are very subtle but extremely effective ways to make the man aware of her intentions.

Continue to pay attention to your eyes

After rapport has been established, a girl needs to continue to pay attention to how she uses her eyes in order to understand how to seduce a man. When speaking to the man, she should consider widening her eyes and eyebrows to communicate more effectively that she is interested in the man.

Eyes and cosmetics: beautifying your eyes

A girl should also pay cosmetic attention to her eyes for seducing and flirting. Since the eyes are such an important communication tool, it is no surprise that a girl should ensure that her eyes are well-maintained to seduce a man. The eyebrows should be trimmed by careful waxing or removal with tweezers. Professional help should be sought for at least the initial eye brow reshaping. Bags under the eyes should also be treated with smoothening or exfoliating cream. Crowsfeet that develop near the corners of the eyes can make the eyes look more tired and the girl older. If this is not desired, a skin treatment can help smooth out the wrinkles.

A true smile is in the eyes

Finally, the girl should be aware how the eyes play a role in smiling. Paul Ekman, the UCSF pschologist who pioneered the usage of microexpressions to study emotional states, trains his students in recognizing smiles by the wrinkling of the outer corner of the eye during a true smile. A false smile lacks these microwrinkles, which can tip off a man that the smile is not genuine. Keep this in mind so that you can go for a true laugh of smile, rather than a forced one that can be detected through the eyes. Go forward and show everyone how to seduce a man!

Confidence and speaking

Create confidence and intrigue

Learning how to attract a man requires you to have successful interactions with a man. A successful interaction means that he’s intrigued by you, would like to follow up getting to know you better, and is pleased by your presence. The key to successful interaction is a mixture of many things, amongst which is confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance or aloofness. It merely means that you are comfortable with who you are, and are ready to deal with unexpectedness or unforseen challenges flung your way. While confidence stems from the inside, your physical appearance has an impact on how people perceive that confidence. If you can cultivate the image of confidence, then it will have a positive impact on your ability to attract men.

Proper dress equals confidence

Dressing a certain way gives confidence to some people and can only help in how to attract a man. If we look good, we will feel good about ourselves. Some women don’t realize that they could really improve the way they dress and the make-up they use. Find a good friend and ask if you can get an objective opinion on how you look. Failing that, hire yourself a style consultant who will evaluate you for how you can improve your looks. A consultant wants to make money of course, so take all paid advice with a grain of salt. In particular, you must find it comfortable to yourself whether you can act on the advice of someone else.

Straighten up your posture

It’s not quite enough to dress confident. You should also carry yourself with confidence. Holding your neck straight and your head high, with a slight upward tilt to your face gives you an air of confidence. Psychologists have found that this subtle display of superiority actually has positive effects on others. Others are more inclined to listen and talk to you.

Control your voice

Speaking confidently is a key part of being confident. To do so, you need to be aware of how your voice sounds and carries to others. If necessary, train your voice so that it projects, without it being excessively loud. You should use the speed of speech to your advantage. Neither speak too quickly or too slowly. Are you able to respond to other people in a confident way? For example, if someone says something demeaning about you, do you lash out or simmer in anger? The confident woman who knows how to attract a man is already self-assured in her personality, work, future goals. She would be barely affected by negative remarks. It is important to cultivate this inner sense of confidence that will strengthen your outer display.

Practice, practice, practice

To further enhance your confidence in speaking, practice conversations in which you engage the other person. When talking, keep eye contact to about 70% of the time. More than that, you will come off as strange and fixating. Less than that you will be labeled timid and unconfident. You need to respond to what others are saying. A slight nod every once in a while will indicate your continued interest. Mirror the other person’s language. If the other person is angry, respond in kind by showing that you understand the indignance.

Dressed to attract

Flirt-appropriate clothes

Flirting tips for women must encompass the issue of clothing. Like hair, clothing is one of those things that will stand out at a distance but also be very noticeable close up. Pay attention to your clothing to make sure it is flirt-appropriate. If you meet a guy who is in shorts and a t-shirt at a wine and cheese gathering, how comfortable would you feel? Some people might find it quirky and neat, but likely more will find it slightly inappropriate or perhaps off-putting in the incongruence.

Balance comfort and style

Another flirting tip for women is that you should not over-sacrifice your comfort for your appearance. Putting on clothing that is too tight or shoes that don’t fit your feet can leave you worrying about your clothing or in such a state of discomfort that you’re unable to concentrate on engaging others in conversation. For example, things like very high heels can be dangerous if you are planning on doing lots of walking. Your orthopaedic surgeon will probably also tell you that such high heels can lead to back problems in the future. But to be fair, heels are one of those things that many girls can’t do without. Heels make a woman look taller, but perhaps as importantly, they accentuate the length of the leg by raising the height of the hips.

Aim for a good mix of mid to high-price items that you can swap around to create the right look for many scenarios. When shopping, bring either a good friend who can give some advice on your choices or head to a store where someone you trust works. Unfortunately, it’s not in the interest of most store employees to give you the truth, either because they can’t give you the personal attention or they are eager to make a commission off your sale. Remember that there are two things to aim for: high fashion and comfort!

Fragrance evokes strong emotions in men

Want to know how to attract a man through one of the senses? Scent is also one of the major senses which can evoke very strong emotional associations. This is why there is so much money poured into buying perfumes, eau de toilettes, and cosmetic products with enhanced scents. Like with your clothing, it is wise to invest in a small repetoire of scents that you can rotate for maximizing effects and preventing any one from becoming too blase. Laurice Rahme, an industry expert from Lancome, said “We are all working people, we want different fragrances because you want a different wardrobe for what you are doing. You don’t dress the same way if you are going jogging or going to work.”

The three scents in any good perfume

There is no need to spend money on the top scents. Research shows that it is difficult if not impossible to tell the difference between a very expensive perfume and a less expensive one that smells pleasant. But it is important to stay away from the very cheapest. A good perfume will have three scents that develop in succession over time. The first noticeable scent is known as the top note and is immediately discernible. The middle note is detectable within an hour. And the final, the dry down, is the long term scent that develops after an hour of contact with the wearer’s body. Good perfumes possess the triple scent because of essential oils that interact with the skin.

Conserve your scent power

Scent is a powerful tool in knowing how to attract a man. Because scent is such a powerful evoker of memories, use your perfumes to your advantage. Use them less liberally when you are not in your flirting mood. Pay extra attention to the scent you use when you are flirting.

Where to find a man

Before and during college

There are no end of places to meet men. For people who are still in school, college classes are a natural way for people of the opposite sex to meet, work and talk together. Take the initiative and set up study sections that will naturally attract people who are inclined to concentrate on a similar topic, get good grades and meet people at the same time! There are also many extracurricular activities one can join, from volunteer work to hobbyist clubs. Moreover, the social spots off-campus near a college are usually full of young people.

After college

For those of you who are working now, meeting men will take more effort. Not least because people tend to live independently in homes far from work and from each other. Unless you are lucky to live in a large metropolitan area with a high density downtown, meeting people will require a little planning and observation.

At work

Meeting people at work is one of the natural places where people are put into proximity for extended periods. Don’t restrict your social circle to people in your immediate department or office. Take the effort to attend office parties or events to make connections. Each connection you make can lead to more connections. Speak with people of the same sex also, who can further your contacts with men.

Learn something while meeting men

Another place you can consider meeting men is the local adult learning center or extension school. Taking a cooking class or a language class can be a perfect way to get to know people who share similar interests. It’s almost like going back to a school environment, but with a greater dose of responsibility and maturity. Others who are taking adult education classes may be thinking to meet men or women. But these are legitimate and excellent reasons to want to make connections and broaden relationships all the while learning something new.

Over a drink

Meeting men at bars is a less certain proposition. The local bar may have high quality men, but it can also attract men who are more interested in drinking than conversation. Each bar will have its own personality. So pick a bar carefully that you think will bring in the right clientele that you’re willing to date! For example a sports bar may not be your idea of great fun since it gets a little wild and chaotic during games. A more upscale bar inside a downtown hotel or near a restaurant may be more your type of location.

At the gym

For people who like to keep fit, going to the gym is a great place to meet men. You may think that working out in a gym is a lonely affair, but gyms also conduct fitness classes like yoga or group aerobic training. Going to one of these is a good way to share common interests with strangers. It’ll give you and the other person something to talk about, for example the crazy aerobics coach who seems to have no limit to energy.

Create opportunities

There are a limitless number of places to meet men. At the local public library, while traveling on trains or planes, taking salsa lessons. In addition, you can extend your presence online to the many online dating agencies. You need to create your own opportunity and take action.

Flirting Tips For Women On a Date

The date

Flirting tips for women can be broken down into specific categories. On a date, there are particular things a woman can do to flirt. You are seated at a table for two in a fancy restaurant, across from a man with whom you have made a date. It is past the stage where strangers introduce themselves, and not yet past the courtship initiation stage. At this point, both parties continue trying to impress and attract each other. The flirting has moved from casual conversation to something more serious. It is more serious because now there are only the two of you, and all the things you do and say will be more noticeable, and subject to greater scrutiny. In addition, this period of time is a very valuable and even limited opportunity to make the best possible impression. In conveying this impression, your flirting must make clear that you are either interested or not interested in your date as a potential relationship.

Men are clueless, help them out!

A quandary for women is how to attract a man when he doesn’t understand your signals. Many women think that men will easily interpret their thoughts and desires because the women cannot imagine any other way to act. The truth is that everyone has their own way of non-verbal and verbal communication, which actually makes it quite difficult to convey subtle, emotional thoughts without uttering them directly. Speaking your mind can be too direct and forceful, although sometimes this is warranted. But to avoid misinterpretation of the verbal cues, a girl should also make sure that her other flirting signals are being broadcast properly in a date setting.

Prepare yourself for your date

If you are going on a first date that may lead to a potential relationship, and you are excited in furthering that relationship, it is absolutely vital that you gear up for the occasion in an appropriate manner. Sweat pants and sneakers may not cut it, unless the two of you are going for a jog together. Improper dress can be improperly interpreted. Wear something that is appropriate to the date, make sure you are well-groomed and fresh. When talking, keep in mind the importance of eye contact, smiling, and how you project your physical presence.

Guide a man to your intentions

Moreover, be ready to guide the man toward your intentions, because even if you know how to attract a man he may not understand you well. You may wish to prolong the courtship ritual, in which case prepare in mind how you should continue the night. Likely you would end it by going your separate ways, but make sure that you vocalize a suggestion that you are open to more dates. During your conversation that there is a balance to your flirtation. You want to strike a balance between excessive flirtation, which can scare away a man, and overly subdued flirtation, which can be misperceived as lack of interest. It is true, if you are too passive, a man may believe that he is being treated as not more than an acquaintance.

Make him feel special

Some important flirting tips for women is that you should make a man feel special. The idea that flirting distinguishes your interests from that of being a mere colleague to a man carries itself into double or group dates also. Make sure your treatment toward the man of interest does not become generic like the way you treat all others in the group. For example, you can pretend to confide in that man even while in a group, or maintain a closer distance to him. Otherwise, your intentions can be misconstrued as lack of interest.

Flirting Tips for Women

Using your facial expressions effectively

The ability to read and express emotions through facial expressions is paramount in the activity of flirting. Compare talking to someone on the phone versus talking to someone face-to-face. Which is easier? Clearly it’s much easier to pick up subtle signals when talking to someone in person. This is because you can pick up facial expressions in the lips, the eyes, and how the other person is holding his or her posture, and the way the hands move or don’t move. Even if you are not very aware of these signs, they can be learned and practiced by observation or by increasing your attention to them.

Types of facial expressions

Do you know how many facial expressions there are? Paul Ekman, a psychologist who has made a living studying and categorizing facial and emotional expressions, wrote in 1972 that there are six basic emotions. They are:
* Anger
* Disgust
* Fear
* Happiness
* Sadness
* Surprise
Ekman has pioneered a series of training exercises to help people recognize ‘microexpressions’. These are expressions so fleeting and subtle that they exist for only fractions of a second, yet can reveal emotions that are being covered up. You don’t need to become Ekman to understand people, but you should have an awareness of the different kinds of emotions shown on people’s faces.

Holding your gaze

One of the most important things to do in western culture is to meet the gaze of your counterpart in a coversation. Looking down or past someone is tantamount to being rude or appearing uninterested. But that gaze cannot be unflinching either, in which case it can be perceived as rude. Psychological testing of people engaged in conversation found that a mix of gazing at the person’s eyes about 70% of the time, and away from the person’s eyes the other 30%, engnendered the best response.

Tips for the ‘gaze’

Girls who flirting should meet the gaze of a man by keeping their eyes opened wide, paying attention to bat their eyelashes ever so often and tilt their gaze toward the man. If the man is taller, an upward tilt will make the girl seem more receptive to his attentions. If the man is shorter, perhaps a sideways tilt will suffice.

The steps of courtship

As far as facial expressions go, it is very important to maintain a smile to indicate interest. Smiling is one of the signals exhibited by all cultures to indicate pleasantness. Think of positive things inside when you are talking to a man. These thoughts will help stimulate a real smile, activating muscles not only around the lips but also around the eyes. The crinkling effect near the eyes is a crucial display of honest smiling that will subconsciously attract a man. The crinkling effect is one of Ekman’s famous microexpressions that separate true smiles from pretend, polite ones. If you find that you have trouble smiling, it may be that you are not psychologically prepared to let your guard down in front of strangers. Smiling is a sign of openess to the other person. Perhaps some thought into why you are closing yourself off to others can help release the smile.

How to attract a man with confidence

The importance of confidence

Surveys have shown that men want to feel like they are the pursuer and that the women are the pursued. Yet the great contradiction is that many men, when pressed, will say that they are looking for a confident women, hardly the personality that will idly stand by and be pursued! Despite the fact that the traditional role of the girl in Western courtship is that of the pursued, she has to do so with poise and confidence. This speaks to the cultural aspect of the courtship ritual, in that we recognize and merely play to the roles of the pursuer and pursued. Each side has to play his or her role with self-confidence.

Developing confidence as a skill

Self-confidence and self-esteem are skills that can, and should, be developed. For some people, getting out into a party and chatting up everyone is natural, for others not so much so. Some people are less extroverted, but nevertheless are able to talk with others easily. Yet some are quite introverted, and may feel some anxiety or fear about approaching or being approached.

Transforming your confidence

Most importantly, having the correct mind-set is at the heart of having good confidence. Check your confidence levels by considering how you flirt with various kinds of people. Recall or imagine what would happen if a guy who is not attractive or not so interesting to you started flirting with you. Would you be more confident? If so, those are the limits of your confidence levels, and you should strive to match that so you are equally confident when speaking to someone with whom you are interested.

The right clothes boost the right confidence

The kind of clothes you wear are a reflection of your inner self. Even if you are conservative in dress and do not follow the latest fashion trends, stick with modest clothes but do not resort to attire that is inappropriate for flirting. For example, if you are wearing a track suit to a party, you will likely be perceived as not receptive nor enthusiastic to flirtations. Instead, direct your dress in the right way.

Getting the attention of others

What kind of appearance do you present? Ensuring your hair has been tidied up can do wonders. A touch of make-up enhances your natural looks. Each of these grooming points will only help you in attracting or holding the attention of guys flirting with you.

Your posture and confidence

Make sure your posture projects an air of confidence that is inviting and receptive to men. You can maintain be reserved, yet communicate to others that you would be willing to speak to them. Stand up straight, with your front facing out towards others, smile and greet others with eye contact.

How to Attract Attention

Bring attention to yourself to maximize contact

In any social situation, before contact has been initiated, you will need to bring attention to yourself in such a way as to maximize the chances for contact. Have you ever been at a party and noticed that there are people (perhaps yourself) whom everyone seems to want to avoid? At the same party there are people who are the life and center of attention. It’s not always just a function of attractiveness. Whether you are the center of periphery of attention depends more on the personality you project outward. Controlling your use of space is one of the important but unacknowledged flirting tips for women.

Your confident posture attracts attention

Your presence in the room, whether it is an office or an afterhours social, should be exemplified by confident posture. This means your head is held high with shoulders pulled back and your back straight. Your gaze should be steady, unflinching from eye contact. In fact, you should seek out and maintain eye contact for brief periods. Stay away from dark corners of the party or the bar. This is where people can’t find you. Even if they could, they wouldn’t want to stand there because it feels uncomfortable, hidden, and away from the excitement.

Position yourself in full view

The same goes for standing behind columns in the room, or behind doors or plants. Anything that blocks your view of others and the view of you from others is a deterrent to effective attraction. If you are in one of these spots, you’re also not engaged in the social activity. People want to feel connected to the life of the party. Put yourself near groups of people with confidence. As long as your confidence is built up, you should be able to tolerate these potentially awkward situations.

Use nonverbal tools

Since contact has yet to be initiated, you will need to use all your nonverbal tools to get things started. Eyes have been discussed as one of the ways to attract attention from men. The way your gaze goes around the room and rests briefly on your target, as he is watching, can be used very effectively to signal your interest. Meeting his gaze is a way to invite him to come talk to you. Vary this up a bit. The second time around, smile also to enhance the intrigue.

Create openings

If you are surrounded by a group of people deep in conversation already, and you want to signal your interest, you can use the position of your body to create an opening or conduit. Practice how to attract a man next time you are at a big indoor social gathering. Turn your body sideways away from the group and point your feet out to indicate a possibility of breaking away from the group. This can precede your facial nonverbal communication.

Adjust to the situation

Be dynamic in the way you attract attention. By this it means that you should adjust your tactics as your surroundings change. If the party is becoming too energetic, to the point where you can barely see anything or hear anything, detach yourself and go somewhere where communication becomes possible again. If the crowd starts shifting into different rooms, or away from a spot, move with the crowd to maintain your presence so others can see you. Don’t be left in a dark spot or corner where you’ll get ignored again.

Flirting Tips and Mirroring

Mirroring: A borrowing from psychology studies

When learning how to attract a man, you should understand some of the psychology of human interactions. There is a phenomenon in psychology called “mirroring”. When you look into a mirror, your mirror image replicates your actions. The same has been found to hold true for two people who are deep in conversation. As the conversation unfolds, gestures, word usage, tone of voice, and stance are copied by one or the other person. An easily understandable example of mirroring is when one speaker smiles during an amusing part of the conversation, the listener may find him or herself smiling as well. Mirroring seems to be some sort of communication dance between two people.

A start in childhood

This effect starts early in a child’s development, before she has even an inkling of how to attract a man. When a child displays emotions, such as intense pride in some well-done work, the parent often plays up the emotion by exhibiting pride also. This builds rapport with the child and increases his or her confidence. Some child psychologists think that this type of mirroring is essential for proper childhood developement.

Bridging differences

In the case of adult flirting tips for women, what is the effect of mirroring? It turns out that copying the actions or words of another person has the effect of bringing the two people closer together on an emotional level. This may be that the mirroring effect allows a measure of empathy to develop between the two parties, thereby making it easier for the listener to feel the emotions of the speaker and vice versa. During your conversations with men, pay attention to both physical and verbal details.

Physical mirroring during conversation

For physical mirroring, observe how the man stands, such as whether he is relaxed or upright, how he breathes and whether he moves his hands or arms in conversation. Know how to attract a man by trying to point your body in a complementary direction. If he is pointing his body toward the left, point yours to the right so that your directions complement. Check the speed of the breath in conversation and try to match it. Smile or frown at the same time as the speaker. If there are hand gestures used to exaggerate elements of the conversation, be prepared to do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

Verbal mirroring during conversation

For verbal mirroring, note the tone of the voice, pace of speaking, and the vocabulary that is being employed. For example, if the tone is excited, try to match that level of excitement. If the vocabulary of the conversation involve something as unique as an animal metaphor, respond in kind with your own! Some people advocate paying attention to the kind of sense words used, such as the a speaker saying “I see” to indicate understanding rather than “I understand.” Mirror that kind of sensual cue by starting sentences with “You can see” or “It seems”.

Moderation

An additional flirting tip for women is that it’s important not to take the mirroring activity too far. If you find yourself duplicating every action of your conversational partner, you may find the partner secretly appalled at your strange behavior. In the same way that a steady gaze that is engaged only 70% of the time, mirroring should only be done for a fraction of conversation during flirting.

How to attract a man at work

Common way for men and women to meet

Office colleagues are one of the most common ways for men and women to meet. You can practice how to attract a man daily. Prolonged social contact, in addition to work on common projects and sharing a common office culture are all recipes for bringing people closer together.

Before pursuing such an office relationship, one should make sure that there are no legal obstacles. For example, dating a subordinate can lead to conflicts of interest which in the worst case scenario will land you in a lawsuit! Or making unwelcome and aggressive advances may result in a sexual harassment claim.

Signaling to men at the workplaceTheree are flirting tips for women at a workplace also. The pool of available people is naturally largest in a big company or big workplace environment where departments are integrated horizontally or vertically in the business cycle. In such an environment, there are chances for repeated exposure to the same people.

The two most important things for attracting a man under these repeated exposure conditions is two fold. One is that you should open up and increase your friendliness toward others. This signals a willingness to form new relationships in general, whether such relationships are romantic or not. The other is an explicit confirmation for men that you are indeed available.Opening upHow do you open up to people? You should attempt to initiate contact by looking at others as they pass, or when you are sharing space in a line or at a common area like the coffee room.

Too often we don’t even make eye contact, let alone give others a smile or time of day. Give it a shot. It will do wonders in getting others to open up and talk to you. Try to maintain an even tempered, positive attitude. There’s no need to be overly cheery, but an understanding, listening and communicative disposition will more likely than not attract others to you.Accepting social exchangesAccpeting social invitations is a flirting tip for women in itself. It’s quite easy to confirm that you are single and would be open to invitations by other men for dating and other out-of-office activities.

If you accept one or two invites to go out, or you let someone discreetly know that you are single, the information will inevitably percolate throughout your environment.Taking the romance outside workRomantic activities should be pursued and deepened outside the work environment. Don’t take your knowledge of how to attract a man too far in the workplace. Subtle and subdued flirtation is ok inside the office building, but can be misconstrued as obnoxious and pathological if it’s taken too far. What is too far of course, is what’s difficult to judge for many people.

Best you make a good friend at work who will be able to lend a more objective eye or a third voice as to whether your office flirtations have crossed the line or not. A full-on date may be too much, but you can suggest alternatives such as a quick coffee break at the local Starbucks that is two blocks from the office, or a trip together down to the copycenter to pick up your printed material.